Sunday, July 17, 2011

James Harrison lives in a cartoon universe

The thing you have to remember about James Harrison, the Pittsburgh Steelers‘ commissioner crunching linebacker, is that he watches cartoons. Lots of cartoons. “Cartoons 24/7,” he claimed at the Super Bowl a few years ago.


And which are his favorites?


” ‘Adult Swim,’ ‘Family Guy,’ ‘American Dad’ … or I can go old school with ‘Bugs Bunny,’ ‘Daffy Duck’ and a little bit of ‘Pink Panther.’ Depends on what time it is and what is on.”

With his Looney Tunes comments in the August issue of Men’s Journal, Harrison officially has become a cartoon character. Let’s face it, He always has been a little Daffy, but some of the cracks he made about the NFL commissioner make you wonder if, on some level, he isn’t playing Tom to Roger Goodell’s Jerry or maybe Sylvester to the commish’s Tweety Bird.

The magazine piece, by the way, is titled, “Confessions of an NFL Hitman” and features a picture of Harrison, arms folded across his brawny chest, holding an FN Five-Seven pistol and a Smith and Wesson 460 V revolver (both from his personal collection). So right away you think: This must be some kind of homage to Yosemite Sam.

Then his gums start flapping, and another thought crosses your mind: If he really were a cartoon character, he’d probably be voiced by James Earl Jones.

At various times in the article, Harrison calls Goodell a “crook” (perhaps he had Snidely Whiplash in mind), a “devil” and a “dictator.” (I am stumped about this last one, unless he was inspired by Bugs Bunny’s spoof of Hitler, “Herr Meets Hare.”)

But Harrison does not stop there. Oh, no. Once he gets going, All-Pro pass rusher that he is, there’s no telling who he’ll blindside. He is like the Tasmanian devil, a veritable tornado of trouble.

He seems to relish the role, too. In fact, when the interviewer turned on his tape recorder, you can almost envision Harrison breaking out in song:

Overture, curtain, lights!

This is it. We’ll hit the heights!

And oh, what heights we’ll hit!

On with the show, this is it!

But back to the Men’s Journal story. When Harrison is not savaging Goodell, he’s ripping teammates Ben Roethlisberger and Rashard Mendenhall for their blunders in the Steelers‘ Super Bowl loss to the Green Bay Packers. That’s not being much of a “Family Guy,” is it? Here’s what he says about Big Ben, who threw 2 damaging 1st half interceptions.

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